Here I am. But where am I going?

2011. Resolutions, anyone?

2011-01-06T08:28:00.000-08:00

How is everyone doing in this fine new year? Good, I hope. I brought in the new year at a friend's formal dress party, wearing a new dress and shoes that I couldn't afford and carrying a gift bottle of champagne that - you guessed it - I couldn't really afford to give. I ended up far drunker than any of the other guests, because when I am uncomfortable, I tend to drink more quickly for lack of knowing what else to do. Embarrassing, but too late to do anything about it now.

Generally, on New Years, I like to make a big list of resolutions, usually all of which will broken by January 31st. Instead of doing the crazy specific things, I think this year I'm just going to make a few general ones.

So, for 2011, I intend to:

1. Write more. I claim to be a writer. I read non-stop. Fiction, it seems, is my life... Why not just give in and live it?

2. Get up and move. Walk, dance, run, whatever. Get my blood moving. It's supposed to stave off depression, and I need all the help I can get. My taking up bellydance will help with this one. At least one night a week, I will be up and about.

3. Use my brain. I was a straight A student until I got lazy partway through college. I have entirely too much smarts to not be doing something with it. So, I'll take up a hobby, learn a skill, watch a documentary, do something to exercise that grey squishy thing between my ears.

4. Grow up. I think now, with birthday #25 just 6 months away, it's time. Live. Learn. Step up and be who I want to be, instead of just talking about it.

What about you? Any resolutions you intend to keep? Or, perhaps, more honestly in most cases-that you intend to break?

Hangovers and Realizations

2010-12-21T11:56:00.000-08:00

Last night's ridiculous, though fun at the time, rum binge brought something to my realization. (Other than the fact that making silly blog posts while intoxicated is a bit stupid and embarrassing.) I realized... I'm too old for this. Today, I feel absolutely wretched. I'm tired and dizzy and couldn't sleep for the better part of the night for jumping up thinking I was about to puke my guts up. Maybe that kind of drinking is for the young and robust only. I'll be 25 in six months - maybe it's time to leave the liquor-swilling to the newly twenty-ones.

The Secret of Captain Morgan

2010-12-21T00:33:00.000-08:00

What is it about watching movies you love when you're drunk? They seem to be paced 5x faster, though whether it's because you're anticipating each event or because you can't quite keep track of the action - no one knows. Try watching a really abstract film you love when you're really drunk, and see how much fun it is.

Tonight, a darling friend and I sat about, drinking a little Capt and Coke, and having a grand time. When the evening culminated in him waking up to ralph, while his gf and I had a deep philosophical conversation, I made silly jokes about being a rum veteran. Much later in the night, I realized that between the two of us, we'd finished off about half of a 1.75 ml bottle of 70 proof rum. Suddenly all the jokes I've had planned to make tomorrow seem inappropriate. It's a wonder we didn't both keel over, given that we never drink. Brava, brother, brava.

Let's Talk Crushes

2010-12-16T19:10:00.000-08:00

When I was in the third grade, I saw a boy (out in the hall getting in trouble, of course) and fell madly in love. He was in the fifth grade, and gods alive, I thought he walked on water. Well, that little crush went on through middle school, into high school, through my first actual boyfriend, and on into college. Boy and I sort of became friends at a point, though it was based more on his enjoying my adoration rather than any actual friendship. He was a trouble maker, through and through, which started my life-long obsession with the 'bad' type. He dated pretty, preppy girls his own age, and I was none of those things.

I forgot Boy for the most part when I went to college. I hadn't seen him much since he had graduated 2 years ahead of me, and I suppose it was a case of out-of-sight-out-of-heart. (Except when I would pass someone on campus wearing his cologne, then it was flashback induced pining time.) I only spoke to him once, online, when I was a college freshman, a brief conversation involving me sending him a photo of my new college self (suddenly thin, blonde, and rather cute) which resulted in the comment 'next time you're home, we should hang out.' My internal reaction to which (after I had a heart attack) was 'after all these years, don't do this to me now.' We never actually hung out.

That conversation was four or five years ago. I haven't seen hide nor hair of Boy since then. Until today. I was at work, and in he walks with his best friend from the old days. My heart stopped. Boy was still perfect, beautiful. Somehow even better looking than the idealized version of him that I keep in my head for drunken reminiscing with the girls. I could scarcely breathe. I was suddenly humiliated to now be 60lbs heavier than the long ago photo that had finally sparked some interest in him, and to have hacked off all my hair. He came up to pay, and I spoke to him familiarly, asking about his life, and realized... He hadn't the vaguest clue who I was. Ouch. I bid him a good day, not bothering to explain myself. (Oh, you don't remember me? I was the odd goth girl who sat by you on the school bus for 6 years and mooned over you.) I thought about him the rest of the day. Apparently, even after nearly 16 years, the crush still isn't dead.

So tell me, dear readers, do you have some school-age crush that lingers on? What is it about guys (or girls) like Boy? I mean, my god, he could've at least had the decency to have gotten fat or something. But no, all those of the former crush camp get to remain perfect. So unfair.

Of Super-Powers and Handsome Actors

2010-12-06T13:41:00.000-08:00

It's been a big 24 hours for me as a sci-fi nut. First the finale of my favorite new series, The Walking Dead, and then I made a big tv-on-dvd accomplishment this morning.

I finished working my way through the four years of Heroes.

Here's the thing. I remember when this show started. It wasn't that long ago. I ADORED IT. I REVELED IN IT. ("Want to go out on Monday night?" Hell no, Heroes is on.) Season 1 was so fresh and exciting that I was hooked beyond my own realization. It looked like a comic book, it played like a comic book, I loved it so much more than a comic book! (and I love comic books.) Milo Ventimiglia's sweet and hopeful Peter Petrelli tugged at my fictional-character-crush-strings even more than his bad-attitude-tough-guy on Gilmore Girls (and that's usually my ideal cup of tea.. though Future Peter with the scar filled both bills nicely). Season 2 was still good, but felt like it resolved too quickly and a bit unrealistically for how the story arc was developing. Of course, DVD features inform that how Season 2 ended was not the original plan. I think the original would've been more satisfying. Damn writers' strike. Somewhere, a few episodes into S3, I lost interest. College got harder, the mood of the show changed a bit, and I just didn't keep up the viewing.

After about the 20th viewing of my Heroes S1 dvds, I decided to finally see how it all ended and rented the other 3. It took me approximately 4 weeks to watch 3 seasons. (That's a lot of TV.) I have to say, I don't think the show ever reached the same 'Whoa.' quality it had in it's first season again. BUT, I still found it INCREDIBLY entertaining, to the point that I might purchase the later seasons to complete the collection.

Favorite points? This show had an ENORMOUS ensemble cast. Fantastic, all of them. I could watch Masi Oka (and his side-kick James Kyson-Lee) for hours. You just want to pick him up and give him a good squeeze like your favorite teddy bear. Sendhil Ramamurthy is a beautiful, beautiful man (who could do genetic testing on me anyday), though I often wonder if Dr. Suresh ever knows what the hell he's talking about. There aren't words for Jack Coleman, who plays HRG. And though Tracy never grasped a tight hold on my fan loyalty the way Niki did, I'm so glad they decided to keep Ali Larter around. Robert Knepper was wonderful in S4, as Samuel Sullivan - whose neck I wanted to wring, but at the same time found very charming.

The characters developed, as they must in a long running show, but the one whose development I enjoyed the most was Zachary Quinto's Sylar/Gabriel Grey. In Season 1 he was the perfect villian, (perfect to the point that when I would ride the campus shuttles with a boy who looked remarkably similiar, it was a battle not to make ticking noises to myself when said boy approached) but as the show progressed, it was impossible to gauge where he was going. And it was fascinating. Did he really want to be good? Could he do it? A glimpse into the future showed us a happy and domesticated Sylar. But then he's a villian again. Oh, wait - He doesn't know who he is. The jumps go on and on. The Sylar trapped inside Parkman's head is sexy as all get out, something I never thought I'd say of Quinto after seeing him as Spock. The lost broken Sylar/Gabriel/Nathan who finds himself in Samuel's clutches is heart-breakingly adorable, always looks like he just needs a good cuddle. By the finale "Brave New World" Sylar had replaced Peter (sorry, Milo) as my favorite Hero (not to be confused with my favorite Hiro, which was- of course, Hiro). When the final "to be continued" screen rolled, it was Sylar that held my heart in his hand. (Telekinetically, of course.)

What I really need to know is, what happens to Sylar? Is the rush he felt saving Emma enough to keep him from going dark side again? Also, is the fabulously twisted relationship with Peter something that will continue? Best friends with your brother's killer - sounds like an amazing arc to me. Will Peter and Emma get together? The poor guy's been alone since he lost his Irish lass in the future. Will Claire finally get to not cry every episode? Will Hiro and Ando get to go back and be 'simple' again? Oh yeah, and WHAT HAPPENS TO SYLAR?!

Of Zombies and Comic Books

2010-12-06T12:45:00.000-08:00

Last night, at 10pm on AMC was the season finale of The Walking Dead. Both a WOOOOOO! experience and a OH CRAP one. I love this series, so I was excited to see what happened, but I'm heartbroken to have to wait until next fall to see Season 2... Really, what is a sci-fi girl to do?

I've never been a fan of the zombie genre, to the point that I have never seen a single Romero flick (an accomplishment, I tell you. Avoiding them is harder than one would think). But one day a year or two ago, I was back in my college town on a routine pop-by at the local comic store. The owner there was absolutely adorable, which had probably thrown lighter fluid on my already sparking interest in the world of comics. None of the things I was reading had new issues out that week, so I asked Adorable Comic Guy to give me something to read. ACG recommended The Walking Dead series. When I shrugged off zombie-lit in general, he was appalled, but convinced me to try the first volume of trades. He stated that it wasn't really about zombies. It was about characters, and zombies just happened to be one of the circumstances the story was set in. ACG was absolutely correct, and I became addicted.

Photo of GREAT Rick and Glenn moment.
Taken from AMC's official site, linked above.
Please, don't sue me, AMC.

Cut to me, living back in southern Indiana, lazily watching TV at Sister's place, and seeing an ad for the show. Big Excitement. And I was not disappointed. The show is as heart-wrenching, terrifying, and at times disgusting as the comics. Andrew Lincoln who plays main character Rick looks so much like the comic hero, that he probably could've been a rubbish actor and gotten away with it. Luckily, he's no where near it. My favorite character from the comics, Dale, is played by the easily recognizable Jeffrey DeMunn. When I first saw him, sitting in his lawn chair atop his motor-home, my heart thumped out of my chest. They had gotten it right. And so far - That's my total feeling about this show...
They got it right.

A New Review

2010-12-05T19:01:00.000-08:00

Check out The Sisters Sardonic's fifth review here. We have a lot of fun writing them. I hope you have fun reading them.

Back again!

2010-12-04T18:26:00.000-08:00

Almost two months have gone by since I have posted, and what do I have to say for myself? Not a damn thing, really.

I finally found a job. That cashier position at the local pharmacy, the one that I interviewed for. Originally, they hired someone else. My mother's next door neighbor, in fact. I was pretty upset, after thinking that the interview had gone so well. But, as it turns out, they called me back. For lack of a nicer term, the other woman flaked out after only a couple of weeks. No call, no show. And so they called up little me and asked if I was still interested in the position. Fiesty Me wanted to say 'too late' out of principle, but Practical Me and Desperate Me got together and overruled with an enthusiastic 'Interested? Of course!' So, I am now part-time employed. I'm not rolling in the dough enough to get my own place or go back to school, but I am paying all my own bills on time now. Brava for that! (and I say that sincerely.)

What else have I missed gabbing about in my delinquency? Why, the holidays of course. I've missed two, after all. Halloween has always been one of my favorites, partly because of my liking of things creepy and morbid, but mostly because of my love of theatrics. I am positively mad for any excuse to create and wear a costume. Really, I should've been a drama major. Friend K and her fiance B were hosting a Halloween party, but where having trouble deciding on costumes, so I presented an idea I have wanted to do for several years now. This idea had been dashed by previous roommates and ex-boyfriends, but I finally got to do it! I suggested that I go as Sweeney Todd, and friend K go as Mrs. Lovett - and...

My entire Sweeney Costume was constructed from already owned items, Goodwill items (shirt and pants), or constructed by ME (I had to make the vest because I couldn't find one like Johnny's at gw. Also, I made the holster and bloody rag for my belt.) That's my real hair too, not a wig (which would've been like $35 according to the sites.) I just bought some of that spray-on color and went to town. Pretty cheap costume for how well it came out, I like to think.

Thanksgiving was a big disappointment at first. My dad, whom I live with, cannot cook and will not go out even when invited for Holidays, and my mother ('rents are divorced) will not celebrate Holidays if Brother doesn't come home from Indy. Yeah, I know, she has two other kids and 3 grandkids within the county - but we don't count, lol. So I was fated to have NO Thanksgivey feast. BUT THEN Sister called and said that both her celebrations sucked, and would I be up for a cosmic re-do? Sister is a fab cook, and I keep trying to get her to start a blog documenting her prowess. Food blogs are in, right? Look at Julie and Julia - There could be a movie about Sister and her crowded kitchen in a few years. For real.

Sister's fabulous gourmet re-do consisted of lemony Cornish game hens, real mashed potatoes with sour cream, homemade rolls, real homemade cranberry goodness, roasted brussell sprouts, and sweet potato casserole with pecans. Dear Lord. It was good. Oh yeah, and there was a pumpkin pie almost too beautiful to eat, with little crust leaves on top. Yeah. She's a goddess.

Other news? Well, we've done a few more reviews on pinkraygun, and we now have a Facebook fan page. Just search for "The Starship Sardonic: Home of the Sisters." I adore doing this, and hope that it continues for a long time.

Last but certainly not least: I have begun belly-dance classes. Finally. And it seems to be going alright. The first class, I was miserable, feeling like I was getting nothing right. But the teacher and my new friend N (met a few months ago through K and B) have assured me I'm a natural. Let's hope. More on all this at a later date, because I think this post has gone on long enough.

What I'm reading now: Anna Karenina (Leo Tolstoy), Secret Diary of a Call Girl (Anonymous)

What I'm watching now: Heroes, Season 4

What I'm lusting for now: flat boots and jeggings

Friday's not a time for resolutions...

2010-10-08T18:29:00.000-07:00

Today I decided to buckle down on my weight loss regiment. I've been really half-assed about it for the last month or two. So, I knuckled down and did really well most of the day. Until I realized...

It's Friday. You know what that means? Supernatural. And Supernatural means going to Sister's house, ordering pizza, and eating whatever delicious yummies Sister has made this week. (It was chocolate pudding and chocolate chip cookies, all homemade.)

So, I think being healthy will have to wait. It's impossible to make good choices when I'm surrounded by good food and Winchester men.

Ah-ha! Check me out!

2010-10-06T08:39:00.000-07:00

Sister and I have our first review up on pinkraygun.com. We reviewed an episode of Destination Truth. Go and have a peek at it here: http://www.pinkraygun.com/2010/10/05/destination-truth-or-comic-adventure/.

So excited!

Huzzah for us geeky, opinionated women!

2010-09-27T08:38:00.000-07:00

I know I mentioned previously that I had decided I wanted to write for pinkraygun.com. Well, Friday night, Sister and I sat down, watched the season 6 premiere of Supernatural (looking sad this year, btw, but that's another post entirely), and wrote a joint review of the episode to send in as our writing sample.

We had a lot of issues about this episode and had a good time giving one of our favorite shows a good rip! Sister sent in it in on Saturday, and on Sunday - Ta Da! a response.

There is good news and bad news to this, but the good news outweighs. The bad news was that they already have writers to review Supernatural, and all of the other shows we were interested in (Smallville, Caprica, Chuck). The GOOD NEWS is that our piece was so strong, they want to work with us to find something else for us to write about! Ha ha! So, here's to Sister and I, and any other opinionated sci-fi lover who happens upon this post!

Pink Raygun. What a wonderful idea.

2010-09-24T21:55:00.000-07:00

My sister discovered this website, pinkraygun.com. It's a site for female fans of sci-fi, which by God, I most definitely am. Women write reviews of television shows, comics, movies, the whole nine yards of glorious geekdom. It's fabulous.

So, I have a new aspiration. I want my sister and I to write joint reviews for them. They're looking for people to track certain shows this fall. Unfortunately, none of the shows on there are shows that I watch. My sister and I recorded our dialogue while watching tonight's season 6 premiere of Supernatural, and wrote a review for it to send as our writing sample. Unfortunately (given that I'm an avid fan of the show, and therefore likely to gush and/or comdemn with vigor), Supernatural wasn't on their list of shows they need writers for. I'll probably have to take up watching Smallville or something if I really want to get into writing for them. Sad. Wish me luck!

A Very Merry Un-birthday to Me!

2010-08-13T12:40:00.000-07:00

So, everyone, anyone, how are you? I'm wonderful. For no apparent reason, this week has been a wonderful week. What happened, you may ask? Well, I'll tell you!

Shortly after my post on Tuesday, I got a phone call from the local CVS (pharmacy chain), where I've been putting in online applications for the last year. (Though, given my frantic search for employment, good luck finding any retail chain I haven't put an application to.) Anyhoo, the lovely manager asked me in to interview. She was really, and though I was nerve-induced Lorelai-Gilmore blabbing at the beginning, I think I did okay. I'm supposed to find out today if I got the job, which is VERY part time (like 8-10 hours, but it's way better than nothing). Even if I don't get it, I'm so happy I finally got an interview. Maybe now I won't be so nervous at the next one.

Wednesday is always good, because Wednesday is Psych day. For those of you who don't watch it... SHAME! I find it incredibly funny and it always gives me an hour of raised spirits even if the rest of my day sucked. Just hearing the theme song "I know you know that I'm not tellin' the truth" makes me smile. In fact, it kinda makes me smile just thinking about it now.

Yesterday was a shopping day, and what woman doens't enjoy a shopping day? (Okay, my mother hates to shop, but it was supposed to be a rhetorical question.) For the past few months, I've been tutoring a local teen twice a week, getting her ready for Algebra 2. Since today was the first day of their school year, her mom wanted to take us to the mall for a hang out day. So, we took off for Evansville and Eastland Mall. We had a good time. I didn't have a ton of money to take, but I still got some really great stuff thanks to my student's AMAZINGLY GENEROUS mom. I bought myself a raspberry colored cami for use with some of my already-owned clothes, and she insisted that I needed something to go with it - and bought me a lovely T-shirt and grey knit vest! It makes an amazing outfit, which of course I had to find an excuse to wear today - so I'm blogging from the local library. :) Before leaving the mall, A-G-Mom took us into the Yankee Candle Company and insisted that we each pick a candle and matching car fragnance thing... She is so sweet that I almost feel like I'm taking advantage, so I must remember to pop a thank you card in the mail tomorrow. It's possible that I'll continue to help with the girl's math until I go where-ever I go in January, and I hope I do. I'll miss hanging out with her and her mom every week. Is it a bad thing that I'm 24 and my 2 best friends in the area are 17 and mid 5o's? Maybe, but I don't think I really care.

Tonight, I'm making chicken and veggie kabobs for me and Dad, we'll see how this goes, since we all know I'm not exactly at home in the kitchen, lol.

So, here's a toast to all of you out there in cyber-interwebby-land, I hope your week was as good as mine. And here's hoping that all of our weeks are just as good next week. *imaginary glass clink*

She Returns

2010-08-10T11:14:00.000-07:00

Hello to everyone, if there is anyone, who has been looking at my blog and saying "WTH? Is she dead?".

The answer is, no, I'm not dead. What I am is utter rubbish at sticking with anything. I had the plan to post regularly about trying to get my life back on track, and instead, I go over a month without posting about anything at all. Gah. Sometimes I find me so frustrating.

So, I'm not dead. What have I been up to? Getting the student loans and everything sorted so that I could try to get back to college asap. Since classes begin the 23rd of this month, and I haven't even gotten my re-application forms in the mail yet, I think the chances of my starting in fall semester are about 0%. However, I think that if I really get my ass in gear, I could be back at Ball State in the spring. I wanted to start in fall so that I could be back with my friends for all the upcoming fall holidays (because what is Halloween when you don't have your mates to party with?), but getting there in spring is leaps and bounds better than not going at all... Wouldn't you think?

The Birth of a Legend

2010-06-09T18:57:00.000-07:00

Today is the birthday of the King of all my celebrity loves.

I spent the day lazing about, as is my tradition for his birthday. (Though that's not so different from any day now that I'm unemployed.) This morning I watched Chocolat, and then I whiled the rest of the day away watching the entirety of 21 Jumpstreet season 3. I'm about to turn into bed and watch From Hell or possibly Sweeney Todd. There was no happy-birthday-Johnny cake this year, as I'm in the middle of dieting and don't live close enough to any of my chick friends to make it a get-together.

I adore this man, and everything he's been in. I believe that he is, without a doubt, the most talented actor that I know of. Happy Birthday to Johnny Depp, where ever he may be, and I wish him a great many more!

(Yes, I know I have a problem... But that's between me, Johnny, and any lawyers he chooses to involve in the restraining order process, lol. Kidding... Sort of.)

A Happy Birthday and a Merry New Beginning

2010-06-07T12:55:00.000-07:00

A while back, I decided to start my blog from scratch in an attempt to make it a chronicle of me getting my life back together. Of course, as I'm prone to do, I then had total mental block as to what to do next. What should my first step be? What should I write about? And finally, as it usually does - Life gave me something to write about.

This weekend, on June 5, I turned 24. I have a bad history with birthdays. My plans for celebration usually turn out badly, so I've been known to skip celebrating all together. Last year, I planned a big to-do with some friends of mine, and it all fell to shambles (namely ending with me out drinking alone with strangers and nearly ending up with alcohol poisoning).

So, this year, I decided to take it easy. I wasn't going to ignore the day or attempt any elaborate hoopla, and I have to tell you- it was an excellent plan. I just let things happen as they happen, and I had a wonderful time. Friday night, I had dinner and cake with my mother and stepfather. It was the first birthday cake I've had in probably 5 years. It made me feel special, even if mom bought it in her favorite flavor instead of mine!

Saturday, the actual day of, was fabulous. Dinner and shopping in Evansville with my sister sans children! Since the birth of my niece and latest nephew - my sister and I rarely get any actual girl time. Back when I was a teenager and she was a singleton, we were out together constantly. It was really nice to have a throwback to that.

We headed south to Evansville and she took me to Nagasaki Inn, a Japanese steakhouse, and we sat at the hibachi (apologies if my spelling is atrocious). The food was WONDERFUL and there was sooo much of it! We split a California roll, and then I had salad, fried rice, bean sprouts, grilled squash/zucchini, and scallops... I cannot wait to go back. The chef was very friendly and hilarious, stating that he gets his cooking tips (ie using lots of butter) from Paula Deen - which cracked me up since my sister and I are huge fans of hers.

After dinner, we spent the evening shopping. We hit Barnes and Noble, Fashion Bug, Kirklands, and Target - all of our favorite shops. Since Borders bookstore was closest to the end out of route, we stopped in there for coffee and a birthday cupcake before heading back home. I, of course, had chocolate, but with a bittersweet truffle baked in. Sister got an adorable little raspberry cupcake - I suspect at least partly because it matched her pink shirt, she does funny little things like that from time to time. I didn't spend any of my birthday coin, but had a blast none the less. She got several things for herself, lol, and we laughed that she was making the most of celebrating MY birthday. Presents all around it seems! She did, in addition to lunch, buy me the 3rd adn 4th season of 21 Jumpstreet, so that I know own all the seasons that Johnny Depp starred in. It's such a cheesy 80's show, but I love it none the less. Young Johnny should be appreciated and enjoyed, afterall!

Speaking of, I think I'm off to have a cup of coffee and watch a few episodes now. Planning another shopping trip later this month to spend some of my birthday bounty from the Gran and the Dad. I'll be sure and post some pics if I get anything good!